Where have you been?

Tuesday, 7 April 2015

Hi everyone! I know a few of you have probably been wondering where I have been as I haven't been blogging for quite some time now. I'm going to start at the very beginning, before you start reading this post I am just going to warn you that this post isn't really going to be a happy and fun post, sorry guys!

So last November my dad was unfortunately diagnosed with Mouth Cancer, as you can imagine that word alone can turn your whole world upside down. As soon as we found out we were in complete shock and completely devastated, as you instantly think the worse. After we found out, the next few weeks flew by. The doctors told us that my father would need to go into hospital to have a major operation which would remove and rebuild half of his tongue. When we were told what the operation entailed, the doctor told us that my dad would have to have speech therapy as he would not be able to speak for quite some time, this broke my heart as my dad is such an outgoing and talkative person.

The operation took ten hours and after it was over, we were allowed to go in to intensive care to give him a kiss on the forehead, even though he was fast asleep. I had no idea what to expect when walking in to intensive care, I didn't know what my father would look like. As I walked in, I looked over at my dad and he was covered in staples and cuts, I cried my eyes out. It was extremely difficult to see my dad like this.

The next day we went back to intensive care to visit him and this time he was awake. As soon as I walked into the room with my sister, he burst out crying and was trying to speak, he looked so helpless. As weeks went on my dad progressed and even started trying to speak, I was so proud of him. He was discharged from hospital two weeks before Christmas, which was brilliant news, however the doctors did say that he would need a blast of chemotherapy and then radiotherapy for six weeks.

Our Christmas was amazing and it was so lovely to spend time together as a family. The presents didn't seem to matter, I realised that family time was a lot more important.  After christmas, my father started his chemotherapy and radiotherapy. The second week of radiotherapy, my father's health seemed to deteriorate and thing's took a massive turn for the worse. My dad was rushed into hospital with a ruptured bowel, I didn't realise how serious this was. The doctor's had to perform an emergency operation which resulted in my dad having a colostomy bag. After the operation my father was put into intensive care and things just seemed to go from bad to worse. I remember the doctors saying at one point, "these next few days are crucial". I felt like I was going to drop, the thought of losing my father just didn't seem possible, I couldn't face it.

My dad was in intensive care for six weeks and was not woken up until the third week. I remember when they were trying to wake him up and all the nurses were trying to get him to squeeze their hands and he wouldn't respond. I decided to have a go, I grabbed hold of my dad's hand and said "Come on dad, wake up, give me a squeeze if you can hear me" and with that he squeezed my hand. I burst into tears, I felt like there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel. My dad seemed to get stronger week after week and was finally discharged from hospital.

He is now home and has finished his radiotherapy, however he is struggling to eat and has a feeding tube which I help set up for him every night. I honestly cannot put into words how proud I am of my dad, he is my hero, what he has been through these last six months is unbelievable. I also can't tell you how proud I am of Abi for keeping this blog up to date and stepping in and taking over.  She has been so supportive these last few months and from day one she has been there for me, when I needed someone to pour my heart out to. She is a star and I am proud to call her my best friend. I hope to start blogging again when things calm down and I have a ton of posts planned. I hope you all understand.



  1. Wow. What a story. Your Dad sounds like such a strong, amazing person, and so do you. So sorry that you had to go through that…but how fabulous that he is now at home recovering! I wish you all the best, Cleo x

    1. It's crazy to think that all this has happened in under a year! Thank you so much for your kind words! :) x