I Don't Know What To Do

Tuesday, 30 December 2014


Sorry for another post but I felt that this was the best time to write this. Over the last few weeks I have really not been feeling myself, I am usually a happy person but there is a lot of things that are going on in my life that I have had to deal with, these problems have caused me not to go to University as I just couldn't face it and other things became more important. 

I feel like I need to share this with someone as I just feel that it is building up inside of me. When I started University last year I thought it was the best decision of my life and loved it, however over the last few months I have found myself hating it, I know hate is a really strong word but this is the only way I can describe how I feel. I start a new term on Monday and I feel physically sick at the thought of going back and my heart starts to race. When starting University I wanted to become a Teacher, however I just feel that this isn't for me anymore. I don't feel like I am passionate enough about being a teacher, which is just causing me to have no motivation. Before I left school to go to University I dreamt of being a makeup artist and opening my own shop, however I freaked at the thought of not being able to have the money to start a business so I just went for the second thing that I wanted to do.

I have only spoke to one of my closest friends about this as I cannot face the thought of telling my family or boyfriend as I just think I will look like a failure. I just feel like i'm plodding along and just existing instead of living. I really don't know what to do, I have another year and a half left of this course. I know this is quite a depressing post but I needed to get it off my chest.
Any advice?

Savannah
xo

2 comments :

  1. Personally I've not been to uni yet so I'm probably not the best person to listen to, but do you have any friends at uni or a professor that you could talk to? It's all well and good for you to be afraid that your parents/boyfriend will judge you (which I doubt they will if you explain how you feel, but I would definitely feel the same way!) but someone who is in the same position as you or knows your course is much more likely to understand your feelings.
    If it were me, I would stick it out to the end of the year and see how I feel then. Maybe it's just the modules you're taking at the moment, or that overwhelming feeling that you're not quite over the hump yet? No doubt you've paid for your accomodation/housing for the rest of the year anyway, so you might as well stick it out for just a few more months and see if the spark comes back? But like I said, that's just me!
    I'm really sorry you're feeling this way and just remember that sometimes you do just need to listen to what your gut is telling you! Speak to your family and your boyfriend, see if they've noticed a difference in you lately. If you do go back, try to visit home more often if it's possible to make yourself feel more comfortable maybe?
    Thank you for speaking out about this. I'm sure it's quite a common feeling among students and I'm sure it would really help someone going through this to know they're not alone - it's very brave of you!
    Megan x meguana.blogspot.co.uk

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  2. Try speaking to your fellow students and see if they feel this way. Write yourself a plan of how you could become an MUA. If you do quit, then make sure you have a plan for yourself and to show your parents as they will no doubt ask. Please feel free to email me at amynmore@gmail.com if you wanna chat. X

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